☮, ♥, (:

☀ Thursday, February 25, 2010 (3:59 AM)

Ah feel soo untouched….

[Click to enlarge pictures]

OOOKKIE!!! I WENT TO EAST COAST PARK TODAY!!!! WITH ELIYYA HAMID!!!! YAY!!! That place is like.. our temple.. Metaphorically.. So anyway, we picked a spot under a tree..

Then, we lay down our ~~paper~~ towels and sat on them… then, we took our food (nasi lemak from ananananannnas cafe) and our drinks (2.5L bottles of our own favourite drinks) and we had our lunch there. :)

Eliyya gave me my belated birthday present. :) Which is a little cow plushie with no nose.. :)

So, we stared at the SOOO VERY BLUE waters for a while and stoned and did nothing and took pictures… like Eliyy said : “oh shit the camera”.. We’re camera fetish you see….. And when we see a camera, well…. you see more of us.. :]

So, here’s a few pictures of our camwhoring.. It’s quite nice actually…. ^__________________________^V

My shoes are MEANT to be like that.. It’s not taken with the shoes facing the wrong side.. It IS the right side… hahah.. Cos well, you ~~wee~~ see, some people thought I’m wearing my shoes on the wrong side… Well… I must be a retard… (Don’t answer that) I kinda forgot what we did… We just listened to music and we moved the towel around cos my arm got bitten by ants cos I my lying down near their ant hill which I DID NOT KNOW okay? We reminisced about our sec 1 life and how mine kinda got fucked up but I told her:

“If it weren’t for sec 1, we wouldn’t be here staring at the…. There ARE no clouds!!” Yeahp… there weren’t a single cloud in the sky…------------->>>>>>>

Life is soo unfair… But it was amusing lah.. I was there trying to complete a sentence… Being soo sweet but the sudden disappearance of clouds just stopped everything.

So, we hit the ~~beach (we ARE at the beach.. wtf)~~ waters after that… ^__^”

I WOULD LOVE TO GO INTO THOSE SUICIDAL WATERS ANYTIME.. (I mean.. they’re soo violent… crashing onto the shore violently) The beach is my sanctuary ESPECIALLY ever since wakeboarding started.. It’s like.. my cocaine…marijuana..martini…alcohol..coke…pot…cocaine (i know some are the same thing..)…pizza…lasagne…scandal…pet… heroine… hero… cows.. animals… toilet… EVERYTHING you could ever think of… Even music.. (WHOAA!!) Seriously… Earth should be made up of beaches only.. And all beaches should be safe.. hahah.. Anydirection, here are the snaps!:

Sunset: Headed back to our ~~motel~~ place (that’s as good as a motel) and took our final picturesque:

I really like this plushie.. It’s seriously soft and squishible~~~~~~

After that, we reminisced about soo many things. About the guy we used to love and stuff… What ever you are going to read as I blog, is at your own risk and whatever bad stuff you want to say to me, keep it to yourself. Whatever I’m going to say is true… So, yeah… Shut up because I know I suck…

8 months has passed us by.
Didn’t even realised,
You and me, still,
Standing strong I see..

These are the words of a singer I once knew. Sang and wrote me that song. Sometimes I wonder if you read my blog. Because Sometimes I wonder if you still care. I know you said “Things won’t be the same.”, every guy says that but truth is, things CAN be the same only if you let it. And most of the time, if you let it, it’s better.. Like a new and improved product. It’s supposed to be better only if you try.. I know guys don’t like hints but sometimes, we wish you knew it by yourself.. Sometimes, it’s nice to know that someone cares without us giving hints.. Because some of you are just clueless.. Guys like to say, “girls think too much”. Isn’t it good? Well, from this, I can say “guys think too little..”… Actually, I wish you read this but I can NEVER let you know because I wake up everyday thinking “SHIT.. he’s got someone else..” and I hate doing that… It’s like.. I wonder if guys hold on to things because they want to keep it as memories of the great times we had or guys throw it away because they just don’t want to care? You see, if 8 months of NOT fighting is really something, then how can 1 week of fighting make you do something like that? How can you want to forget the person who has taught you soo much? I don’t want to.. Eventhough the person who changed my life has only time to change someone else’s? Thing is, no matter how many times I say “I’m over it” or “I know it won’t be the same”, truth is, I only say that because I know it will make you happy. But this is my blog and my downs are blogged out. And you can’t judge me got this. It’s my turn to blurt.. If you had feelings for me, why didn’t you tell me? Guys, if you have feelings for someone, you would tell the right? Risk everything you’ve got.. I mean, you’ll never know… What’s the worst that can happen? I mean, we’re girls… We’re not some blonde bimbo’s who think we’re THE best.. We’re normal people.. I want to ask “you” something… Why did you tell me things that make you seem that you don’t want me to let go and then you just ditch me and go for someone else? Your friends must be gossiping behind my back “at how such a poser she is”.. Nice friends YOU have.. Soo many people have been telling me that I’m better off with you but thing is, you’re not better off with me. I’m tired of feeling like I’m using guys because I need a distraction from you. (God, when will there be someone better?) There are many fish in the sea but I want THAT fish. Even your flaws seem like a bliss.. I can’t deny how I get angry at you easily.. People say that your next one is better but it never was.. I don’t know if it ever will be..

[This is NOT a poem]

The sea made me remember;

The first time you bit my cheek…
Was also the first time you kissed me..
Which is also the day we got together…

The sea made me remember;

The night we fell asleep together..
We didn’t need to be beside each other..
We were just on the phone..
I could hear your breathing..
I could hear you sleeping..
And I said “I love you..”
I waited a while just because I want you to be there...
Knowing you’re still alive..
Made me smile in my sleep..

The sea made me remember;

The day we talked on the phone..
And I told you that you snored the night before…
I lied.. But you believed me…
Two days later,
you told me I snored the night before…
And I made you realise,
that I didn’t call you the night before..
Lie, Fail…

The sea made me remember;

The look you gave when you tried to teach me how to play the electric guitar..
I just freaked out by the speaker…
I was just pretending to freak out….
But actually, I was shy…

The sea made me remember;

That night we were under a block..
And rubbish and soda cans flew at us..
I was scared…
But it was just your friends playing a trick on us.. :)

The sea made me remember;

The night of my birthday..
We were at the bus stop..
I was wearing that red checked top..
It was the first time I wore a skirt..
Just for you..
And you got something from me…
It was the first time I gave you a present…

The fucking sea made me remember;

The way you smiled and waved at me at school…
We were on our way to our electives..
Your class was just above mine…

The sea made me remember;

The number of buses I missed..
And I told you I didn’t like riding 12 because i have a phobia of it…
I lied to you..
Just so I could spend more time with you..

The sea made me remember;

The number of times I get scolded by my mother for being late for home…
I met you before that everytime..
And each scolding could not beat the day we had spent together.
I didn’t mind..
As long as I got you

The sea made me remember;

The day we went ice skating together…
And you couldn’t skate…
And I loved watching you fall..
Because it was HILARIOUS..
And cute…

The sea made me remember;

The pepsi that…
DID NOT shoot out of my nose..
Shut up…

The sea made me remember;

The people who despised our affection….
But it was okay…

The sound of the sea crashing onto the shore made me remember;

The night you sang me that song..
The song you wrote to me…
Which made me cry….
The sound of the sea…
is like your song…
A perfect song…
Which made me cry…

You never change.. You look the same…. You act the same… You’re the same to me… I don’t want you to change… Fuck you… I miss you… I don’t want your sympathy and I don’t want your love… All I want is hope… Hope that you remember the great memories we had.. Hope that you hadn’t forgotten me.. Hope that she will appreciate you waay better than me.. (ofcourse she does… she’s better isn’t she?)

"Oh Bother"